I used to think snow days were cool

Now they are just a disruption. I finally have a good routine down, at home, alone, during the day. I do my homework and catch up on old sci-fi shows, like Kolchak: The Night Stalker. Or shows I miss out on while attending class, like Survivor and Lost. So, anyhow, here I and my cat have this great routine, and next thing you know, school is cancelled, and I am suffering from overcrowding. Why is it children never want your attention until you are giving it to something else? If I wanted to play a game, Dakota would be busy. But when I am crunching on my homework, it's "hey, let's play chess."

I don't mean to sound like a complainer. I actually love that my son has not gotten to the point yet where he doesn't want to be seen with a parent. He is still huggy, and wants to snuggle when he doesn't feel good. But, children wreak havoc on efficiency.

Being a full-time student is hard work

Wow! It is now the third week of the new semester, and I am barely keeping my head above water. Whose idea was this anyway? That schedule idea I had a few weeks back has turned out to be more of a dream than a reality. There is an old saying about the "best laid plans" that I am sure would fit in here somewhere. Basically, I have had no time for housework, crafting, let alone to keep up this blog. I decorated for Halloween the day before the holiday, and never began carving my pumpkins :-( I can give myself a little credit on the food front, though. We have eaten at home more, and are eating healthier.

I haven't eaten at McDonald's for over a week, which is a new record. Even on vacations to far away places we have not been able to avoid it for this long. I believe the McD's folks categorize someone who eats there once a week as a "heavy" user, so if I keep this up my family will drop off their radar all together!

So far, not working is harder work than work. Tomorrow I start my 16 hours of observing and tutoring with struggling readers at the local grade school. I am really looking forward to seeing how to apply some of the skills and techniques I have been learning. And, I now know I will be doing my student teaching at South Valley Junior High in January, so I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Thank goodness for Tivo. I have been able to keep up with Lost, CSI, Invasion, Surface and Survivor by recording and watching them back, skipping the commercials, instead of watching the 10:00 news. I am thinking about watching all my television this way from now on - with the commercials in fast forward. I wonder how long it will be before some marketing guru figures this out, and starts playing them in slow motion, so they will appear in regular motion on fast forward?

Learning to Say Goodbye

I have never really had to say it. When I came to "the Bank" I left a part-time retail job which I was happy to escape from. I was 19, and had no real ties to the people I left behind. This is different. Today, possibly for the last time, I leave behind people who have never failed me. They helped me grow up. Taught me to be a good mother. Supported me through the best and worst times of my life. They have been close when my family was far away. I think of them as mothers, sisters and friends:

Lurue, Diane, Dawn, Vera, Shirley, Toni, Martha, Rhonda, Donna, Sarah, Ann, Carlen and the countless others who have already left us

You will forever be in my heart.

Fast-Forward to the end

Last week it was announced we would close on the 21st instead of the 31st, since the clean-up process is going so well. That means 6 extra days of relaxation. Six additional days to take photos, do homework and housework, cook, finish those home projects, and be on time to class. I may have to get a job just to rest up!

Only 19 more business days!

The countdown is getting serious now. It feels like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one. Even better. I have never not had a job since I was 14 years old. First, I worked at a small amusement park, then at 16 it was the K-Mart shoe department. It is amazing how many people steal shoes, put on new ones, and leave the old ones just laying in the aisle. Picking up those old, worn, odiferous shoes was the worst thing I ever had to do for a paycheck.

At 17 I moved to a Sears Catalogue counter, taking orders and helping people find their packages in the "self service" bins. I never did understand where the "self" service came in, as we had to help over half the customers find their packages. Apparently the package filing people didn't know their alphabet.

After high school I found my current job at the Federal Reserve Bank, where I have been for 25 years. In 19 days I will be unemployed. Not that I won't be busy, with class three nights a week. Of course, I already have my days planned:

7:00 wake-up
8:15 put Dakota on the bus and walk the dog
9:00 breakfast & shower
9:30 homework
1:00 lunch
1:30 craft and/or housework time
4:00 start dinner

Interesting, when you write it down, being unemployed looks like such hard work?

The Unluckiest Lucky Person in the World

Today, I feel like Hurley on "Lost." You know, the kind of feeling that if you had a silver cloud it would have a black lining? Why do I feel this way?

Saturday I attended the Custer and the Indian Wars Symposium in Denver, Colorado. I won one of the big raffle prizes - a pair of tickets to the Monday Night Football game last night, between the Broncos and the Chiefs. As a Broncos fan (lost in KC) I have always wanted to see a game in Denver, but never had the opportunity. And here it was handed to me, two $54 tickets, a pair of hats and assorted blue-and-orange stuff. But I couldn't stay. My husband had to go to Dallas Monday on business, I had class Monday night, work Tuesday, and just couldn't justify taking my son out of school for two more days.

Man, it is tough being the "good seed." I hope my mother appreciates it.

Reality Hits

We buried my great-aunt this weekend. Or more precisely, we sprinkled her ashes from the banks of the Missouri River, as she requested. The service went smoothly. The span of time between her death (in June) to now had softened the impact. The two and one-half months served as a cushion. I am sure most of us thought we had concluded our mourning in that time. At least I thought I had, until last night. Going through my son's backpack, we found the annual school picture order form. As usual, I sat down to make my list of names and photo sizes, and out of habit started to write down "Peggy". I couldn't finish the list. It was too hard to do it without her.

There Are Always Possibilities

My title here is one of my favorite Spock lines from "Star Trek" - in my life I have always found it to be true, and as a mantra it has always bolstered me, no matter how tough I perceived life to be. And, once again, believing in possibilities has not failed me. Since hurricane Katrina hit, I have been monitoring websites for the Jefferson Davis Presidential Library, hoping against hope it was not totally destroyed. This was a gem of a historical site I visited on my June vacation, and was one of the many places on the gulf coast I was hoping to spend more time at in the future (see post on Beauvoir). Today I was happy to see some current photos, with a very positive message about rebuilding this beautiful and unique place.

A Seinfeld Post

Finally, a nice quiet weekend. We went camping, and nothing happened. No catastrophe at home, no problems with the camper. Decent weather - cool enough in the evening to cook over an open fire. Even spent an evening driving around Squaw Creek Wildlife Preserve, shot a roll of film, and everything worked. I didn't even collect a large number of mosquito bites! I finished reading a book, did some howework, lost to my 9-year-old at chess, lost to my husband at the washer game, and got bored with a LOTR monopoly game that was stuck in a 3-way tie. The weekend was like watching a really good Seinfeld episode - nothing happened!

Only Two Back to School

We are now down to two students in my house. My oldest son, David, has decided not to enroll in classes this fall, and is looking for a full time job, instead. I understand his reasoning, but can't help but feel a little disappointed, in both of us.

As a mother, I am sure I could have done more to support him, but as a future educator I think I probably should have done less. Part of me says I could have helped him with homework and studying more, because, if his grades were better, if he had struggled less, he would be more encouraged to go back. On the other hand, the educator in me says I probably already did too much, babied him, helping him with research and editing papers. Like most things, I am sure the truth is somewhere in the middle.

Unfortunately, realizing this does nothing to curb my disappointment.

Only 47 more business days!

There are still two months to go before my department shuts down, or 47 more business days. It is funny how two months seems like a long time, but 47 days seems like nothing. In fact, thinking about 47 days makes me panic a little. I have more than 47 tasks to complete. There are 100 tasks on my checklist. Not that I need to do them all myself. Many are delegated. But I still have to ensure they get done. And I am not as good at delegating as I am at doing.

Not everyone in my home shares my excitement. I am learning that some people, no matter how hard they try, worry. Even those that have lived for years with the threat of joblessness continue to fret. My husband is one of these. He worked for TWA for years, and now for American Airlines. He endured bankruptcy and an uncounted number of layoffs. He has never learned to say "whatever". For as long as we have been married (11 years), every day has been a day he could come home without a job. But I never worried. Never did I stew over being able to keep vehicles or pay the light bills.

Not that it didn't concern me. But what good would worrying do? Will worrying change the business decision putting me out of a job, or change current economic conditions? No. So, if I have to cut my grocery budget, I can find more ways to dress up less expensive cuts of meat. And, if incoming funds won't cover cable, I can live watching 4, 5, 9, 38, 41 and 62. That is still more choices than I had as a teenager. Que sera sera.

Who is in Your Wallet?

$53.00. That is right $53.00. Last night I filled up - it cost $53.00. I am thinking of telling my boss I am adding a fuel surcharge to the cost of my employment.

I drive a mini-van, which is very economical, compared to most vehicles on the road today. So much so, that it is fast becoming the family car (up to now we have preferred to use the Silverado locally, with its heated seats and XM radio). I can tell she (my van is definitely a lady) really doesn't like it. I think she enjoys the quiet life, going back and forth to work, and the occasional stop for groceries. She is not the rebellious type, but I fear she may start giving me the silent treatment if things don't slow down.

A few days ago we were helping my college-aged son with his budgeting, and found he was spending 10% of his income this summer on gas. Imagine, it is costing him 10% of his pay to be employed (and that was about 20 cents a gallon ago)! What is the exponentially-rising price of fuel costing you?

Meeting Requirements

This is the last of the blogs to meet the requirements for this course. I have enjoyed this exercise, recording and sharing my thoughts, even did a few extra posts for fun, and plan to continue. Which started me thinking about expectations, and how I and others approach them. For me, expectations are usually the bell lap in my race - a point I must pass to finish, but not typically my end goal. I guess this makes me an over-achiever, which in many circles (especially among students) is a derisive term. The thing is, I have always been this way, as long as I can remember. If I look back at the scrapbook my mother kept, even in 3rd grade I wrote papers longer than required, used more sources than asked, and generally went the extra mile. It is a life-long habit, one I can't seem to turn off. Not even on the little things. Many people who work like this burn out, claim "stress", or have all-out nervous breakdowns. I just keep plugging along. In fact, it drives me crazy to NOT have something to do: a book to read, a magazine to skim, homework to do, at least one craft project in the works. In fact, I am only truly happy if I am multi-tasking. Take a typical Saturday morning, when I have laundry running, watch cartoons with my son while doing homework (we are learning to duel like on "Yu-gi-oh"), and jump up during commercials to do quick bits of other household chores. How do people do nothing? I don't think I will ever know.

Bad Things Happen in 3s

Wow, I feel like a statistic. This morning I was rear-ended on the way to work. No one was hurt (I was in the process of dropping my son off at Kids Zone) except my vehicle (yes, I am one of those that believes my car has a personality). She is a little shaken, but is bravely rolling on. That was vehicle incident #3. Over the weekend, the slide-out on our camper decided to not slide, which makes for very tight quarters - incident #2. And the one that kicked this cylce off, the useless piece of human baggage that side-swiped my husband's truck while it was parked in the underground airport parking - hitting it hard enough to move the 1/2 ton pickup 4 feet, crushing it into the next parked car, and since it is a hit-and-run, leaving us out the deductible.

I have long felt we should chuck all the motor vehicles and go back to horse-and-buggy transportation (reducing carbon dioxide emissions AND creating a useful bi-product for gardeners).

Does anyone know a good used buggy dealer?

I've Grown Up, But Sadly, Many Others Haven't

Last night I attended a concert a Verizon Ampitheater - the Black Crows and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers. (TP has been my favorite since the late 70's). I had an epiphany. I now go to concerts to hear music and enjoy an artist's presentation; not to get wasted, see people, and be seen (literally). I was astounded at the number of women, obviously aged 50+, sporting new ta-tas, and showing them off in outfits Britney Spears might have been embarrassed to wear (or maybe proud to wear?). Not to mention the number of women of all ages with exposed mid-riffs that were better described as maxi-riffs. I think it is time to institute what I call the reverse V-chip. Like the current model that prevents youngsters from watching what "someone" considers age-inappropriate content for them, this would block adult and/or overweight women from seeing anything fashion-related that is not appropriate for their age and/or body type. And, since women cannot be trusted to tell the truth in these matters, the chip would need to be synched-up with the license bureau (for age and height) and a set of scales in the home. That way, maybe the world of sensible people would not have to endure another evening sitting in stadium seats at eye level with unbidden bellies and breasts.

Beauvoir

Late afternoon on the porch of the antebellum plantation home of Jefferson Davis, after the Civil War. Shot on Velvia 50 with a sepia filter. My favorite from this year's vacation.

Haunted by Hauntings

Currently I am finishing up "The Ghosts of New Orleans", written by two paranormal researchers with the ISPR. It is more on the academic side than most "ghost story" books I have read. I am not sure what I believe, but hauntings fascinate me, and it has prompted me into exploring more. When in New Orleans recently I visited one building certified haunted by the ISPR. Marie Laveau did not put in an appearance in her voodoo shop, but there was plenty of interesting stuff besides. Of course, I grew up hearing rumors about the Odd Fellows Home (only a mile or two from where I presently live) and Rickey Road, but never took these too seriously. I have even spent a couple of evenings trying to find the "Spook Lights" outside Joplin, to no avail. There is quite a list of reportedly haunted places in Missouri still to check out. You can even book a room over the internet at a haunted hotel. Happy haunting - I mean hunting!

Eloquence Revisited

I often think about our current use of the word "war" as it is applied to Iraq. It does not feel like a war as there aren't two or more armies facing each other, as I have been conditioned to define the word. It doesn't seem to fit. In the media, the combatants are often described as occupiers and insurgents. Again, not the terms we have used in the past to describe combatants, in neat and tidily-bordered terms, such as Union and Confederacy, or Allies and Axis. I wonder what Eloquent Abe would have to say? Of course, my first thought is, he wouldn't have to say anything because he never would have been there. We know Mr. Lincoln spent a great deal of time thinking through all the justifications for his war, before entering into it. He may have used Plato's and other philosopher's thoughts during the decision process. I don't believe our leaders today have given the action in Iraq nearly as much thought. If they had, they would see it does not qualify as "just", nor does it fit the definition of a war.

Lies Beget Lies

Finished reading "When Presidents Lie" this weekend. I remember as a child learning how lies beget lies; how sometimes, if you tell a lie, you have to tell another to cover it up, and then more, and pretty soon the truth is consumed by the lies. I also remember the punishment was much harsher if I lied, than if I told the truth. I wonder if many of our 20th century presidents were ever taught that lesson, or if they chose to ignore it. It is difficult to imagine men we hold in such high esteem propagating not only their own lies, but those of previous presidents, sometimes from two or three terms before theirs. I try to imagine how different our country would have been if Truman had not covered up for FDR, or if Kennedy had told Johnson the truth about the Cuban Missile Crisis, so he would not have been trying to carry on the Kennedy myth.

Little Big Horn Revisited

Saturday is the 129th anniversary of the Battle of Little Big Horn. Tomorrow I should be attending the Custer Battlefield Historical & Museum Association symposium, experiencing the lectures, listening raptly and staring in awe at my favorite authors. And Saturday I would have travelled with the group on the annual field trip, this year to the Rosebud, but had to cancel my trip for family reasons. Did you know there have been reports of hauntings at the battlefield? After seeing this on the website, I am doubly disappointed. Watching for ghostly occurances would add another dimension to an already fascinating trip. Well, there is always next year.

Learning to Learn

The more I read on learning styles, the more I want to encourage others to investigate and find their own style. It seems to me all people, not just teachers and students, can benefit from this knowledge. As the header to this blog states, I believe everyone is learning constantly, whether they are trying to learn or not. So why not make it easier on yourself by learning how you best learn? If you are reading this, I challenge you to take this quiz and find your own learning style.

Horsing Around

Today's topic in the cube was horses and horsemanship. Looking into the question "why Custer organized his companies each with a different colored horse" led to a host of new information on the web. The ancient Greek, Xenophon, wrote the first known book on Horsemanship, which can still be found in print (although Mid-Continent Library fails to carry it). His ideas were the basis of all that followed, from the Romans, through the Crusades and into the 19th century. Many of his ideas are incorporated in what the French formalized into dressage. I learned about warm blooded breeds (high-spirited) and cold blooded breeds (more docile, saddle-types). Grey horses are more prone to tumors, and in general have a shorter life span. Light-colored horse, such as grey and white horses, can sunburn. I found a Lord of the Rings chat room that discussed the differences between a war horse (typically raised and trained by one person and taught many fighting moves so they are an active part of the battle, very loyal and protective of their master), cavalry horse (calm under fire, trained in some battle formations but not considered a weapon in and of themselves) and saddle horse (could be taken out of the barn and ridden by anyone), and read the opinions of several gamesters on how these differences could be applied to upcoming versions of a LOTR video game. Fort Riley has a research library dedicated to the Cavalry, which is open to the public. Sounds like a great day trip to me. Of course, none of this really answers my original question, so I will be working more on my search!

Once We Were Eloquent

Finished reading "The Eloquent President" last night. Have been trying to determine why people no longer worry about what they say and how they say it as they did in Abraham Lincoln's day. The meaning of words doesn't seem to carry the same "meaning" as they once did. Lincoln never referred to the actions of the southern states as "secession" but as "rebellion" - constitutionally the former was legal, and the latter not. Few Presidents, let alone individuals, since Lincoln, have given as much thought to what and how they speak. Have we lowered our standards as a nation, or are our leaders no longer capable of proper discourse?

A Beginning

My first day back from a 10-day vacation. It is hard to transition to "work" mode. Everything I experienced is buzzing in my head, memories of The Jefferson Davis Presidential Library and Shiloh National Military Park alike. Of course, the constant pain from wearing clothes over areas that contain my beach souvenir doesn't help (some day I will learn to listen to my mother and wear sunblock). The four rolls of slide film to be developed laying on my desk are another reminder of what has passed. Today I have learned, for tomorrow's benefit, to wear looser clothes and bring some lotion to work!